Why Students Will Move Mountains for Some Teachers (But Not Others)
By Lisa Miller & Tatiana Guerreiro Ramos
You've probably witnessed it: your child comes home raving about one teacher while complaining endlessly about another. Same kid, same school, vastly different effort levels. What’s up?
The answer is simpler than you might think: relationships drive learning.
The science behind connection shows that when students feel connected to their teacher(s), their brains literally function differently. The stress hormone cortisol decreases, while dopamine—the neurotransmitter associated with motivation and reward—increases. This isn't just feel-good psychology—it's measurable brain chemistry that directly impacts a student's ability to focus, retain information, and take academic risks.
Conversely, when students feel disconnected from their teacher, their stress response is activated. The brain shifts into survival mode, prioritizing threat detection over learning and other cognitive functions.
Learning requires vulnerability. Students must be willing to make mistakes, ask questions, and admit confusion. This only happens when they feel psychologically safe.
The most effective teachers maintain high expectations while building strong connections. Students will work harder for teachers who believe in them than for teachers who simply demand compliance (the same is true for parents, btw.)
For students with learning differences or anxiety, the relationship factor becomes even more critical. A teacher who understands their individual needs can unlock potential that remains hidden in less supportive environments.
While parents cannot control teacher assignments, they can help their children navigate difficult relationships with teachers.
Validate their feelings without badmouthing the teacher
Help them find connection points with challenging teachers
Focus on what they can control in each classroom
Communicate strategically with teachers when needed
The bottom line: Students struggle to learn from teachers they don't like. This isn't immaturity—it's human nature. While we can't always change the chemistry between student and teacher, we can help students develop skills to succeed even in challenging relationships.
When students do connect with teachers (or tutors) who believe in them, magic happens. Those relationships change trajectories and create lifelong learners.
Having trouble helping your child navigate challenging teacher relationships? At Classroom Matters, we specialize in helping students develop the skills needed to succeed with all kinds of teachers.